Transcend Yoga & Healing

A Day In The Life!

It's been 2 weeks and I have been so busy living, learning, and expressing myself in so many ways that it has been hard for me to sit at a computer and write my experiences. I have not known how to say what I am going through. I imagine when this 6 week yoga teacher training is over I will sit back and need to spew my knowledge like vomit out into the world because there is so much of it filling me right now, and I have so much more to take in. I promise it shall be healthy, delightful vomit, maybe more like rays of light and sunshine beaming from me than my previous description. But anyhow, until then I shall promise to write what I can manage when I can manage the energy.

So, here goes....a day in the life of an american yogini living in mysore india:

I wake up at 4:30am 6 days a week. For anyone who knows me, this is not NORMAL, I am a sleepy monster in the wee hours of morning, but somehow I manage here. I run to the bathroom and flip on the switch that shall heat a large metal pot of water that shall be my "hot bucket", or makeshift shower, for the day. I need this shower before yoga for many reasons. One, because I don't think my body would want to move at all at 6:00am when yoga starts, without some awakening. Two, because my yoga practice has become so intense that I generate massive amounts of heat, and the cool wetness of my head keeps me from overheating. Three, because the routine helps me to stay focused!

After my shower, I stumble to the Mandala Yoga Shala in the quiet darkness of early morning. During my yoga practice I do every single vinyasa, which is a great thing for a girl who love's her flexibility while in the poses, and tends to avoid the hard work of strength building which vinyasa offers. Every single vinyasa, and now I can't imagine why I was so lazy. It's hard...but not that hard, and I am getting strong and I love it. The vinyasa prepares me, it cleanses the pallate of my body, it connects the different postures weaving a well designed web of wealth for my whole body and breath.

My teacher is named Shishadri, and is a small, bright eyed, sweet, challenging man who once was a world renowned yoga champion. He is gentle with me in his words, not as hard on me as he is with others. He's a great teacher, & gives each the level of strictness or sweetness that we need to be challenged to learn, to expand, to grow. He noticed quickly how well I respond to positive reinforcement, and even though I sometimes get a sharp order to move this way or that mostly, he eases my limber body and self into some very wild and exciting positions which I have never been able to take as far. After this he smiles down on me, and his eyes ask, "Did you like my gift? Are you happy? I am happy for you!" His sweet smile and intensely challenging nature inspire me with full amounts of devotion and joy to this ancient practice which I am climbing the ladder of. Thank you, Thank you, Shishadri, I want to be all this and more!

After yoga I head home to clean up and have some breakfast. I head back to the Mandala by 10:00am for philosophy class. We study for 3 hours, which were only supposed to be 2 hours...but we are so inquisitive that we ask thousands of questions getting us off track. Our teacher Dr. Nagaraj is so inspired by our curiosity that he feeds us knowledge with such patience and kindness. I sometimes imagine we are infants screaming and crying for our breakfast of yoga sutras and yoga therapeutics and such, and our loving teacher/parent Dr. Nagaraj sings us songs while swirling the airplane of a baby spoon of ancient knowledge towards our ignorant starved mouths and minds. After the first two and three quarter hours I start to feel a little overwhelmed as though I ate too much knowledge and need a rest and some pepto to ease the intensity of over indulging! The things we are learning are specific, precise, ancient, deep, philosophical, spiritual, and our teacher is so practical holding us to standards so that we may exist and represent ourselves as truely trained, developed, and sculpted yogi's of a high quality! I have come to understand that my whole idea about the purpose of yoga was incorrect, and am overjoyed to be coming to understand truely for the first time in my twelve and a half years of practice! Thank you, Thank you Dr. Nagaraj! I want to be all this and more!

After this intensity we are blessed with a three and a half hour break. Usually we go home to eat some lunch and then head out to do errands. There are always errands to do. From the bank, to the post office, to the grocerie store to get fresh food, to the mandala to practice our instruments. Sarah has taken up mirdangam, an indian drum. I am fully devoted to my didgerie doo, and my guitar! Errands, practice, a small rest for fifteen minutes or so, and the time between classes flies by!

At 4:30 I have been going for a full 12 hours by now. This is thime we are doing pranayama practice. Shishadri teaches these ancient practices of controlling the inhalation, exhalation, and retention of breath. These practices are designed to channel and influence the energy flow within both gross, and subtle bodies! Its difficult to focus, but amazing, and afterwards I always feel as though I am floating. I have now come to see that the art and practice of pranayama requires a competantly trained teacher, which I haven't had many of in this category. The depths of this practice are so vast that many of my american teachers have never been trained to understand, practice, or teach such levels. In america, I only skimmed the surface of this deep subject!

After pranayama, I am spaced out, hungry, floating my way back to my spiritual haven of a home. Our home is almost nicer than my home in america, and yet much more simple. It has a veranda where there is a little peanut swing for sitting and cotemplating. The kitchen is the one thing I have not become accustomed to. It has a simple two plated gas burner, a small fridge, a water purifier, and a small sink. All this is crammed into a small space. The burners aren't enough to cook the elaborate meals Sarah and I are famous for, but we get by. The water always leaks onto the floor when we wash dishes, but we get by. The fridge decides not to work, every so often, and then water leaks all over the floor, but we clean it up and somehow get by. It's not ideal but we get by. Originally we were sharing the bedroom, but when sarah got sick I started sleeping on the matress in our our common space. I wanted to give her some privacy and space to sleep well so she could heal. But during this time I came to enjoy the moments of privacy to contemplate and just be alone for a short time. We are with people and each other all day. I am taking in so much, that it is nice to be alone and let my mind drift, and my energy swirl inside itself.

So each night we retreat to our haven and cook dinner, & clean up...so as not to lure the big bugs that india so lovingly grows. Usually our new friend Gaura joins us for our evening unwinding and eating ritual. Gaura is a beautiful russian man who is highly spiritual and a wonderful addition to our little family. He left home at the age of fourteen to join the Hari Krishna's. He was a monk for many years, but his open heart prevailed always resisting the renunciation of a monks life. His elders and himself eventually came to see this struggle as a sign that he made serious vows before he was mature enough to know himself and his true self and where on the path to spirituality he truely was. This struggle has caused him great confusion, and he is now on a journey of exploration into his true self, struggling to preserve the wonderful knowledge passed down to him by his elder monks, yet seeking to be who he truely is and accept that he is not as close to the spiritual liberation that these monks were priming him for. Yet, he remains highly pure and inspiring as an individual. He has joined the rest of us on the material plane and on our path to self understanding and integration of our spiritual self into our worldly life! He has lived in india for many years and is deeply philosophical, kind, pure, and silly! I admit that our hearts are connected in some way, and I shall speak more of this fascinating human as our story unfolds, and my mind and heart are able to better understand and express what we share.

And that is it for now...what else can I say about a day in the life of a spiritually inspired woman, seeking to expand, seeking to learn, seeking to challenge herself and all her previous understandings of everything, seeking, seeking, seeking both out and in!

Diving into the world, the sacred texts, and myself!

Diving into the deepness of my breath

Diving into this strange place on the opposite side of the world

Diving into ancient sacred texts

Diving into the rusty corners and well oiled angles of my body

Diving into shining eyes and respect worthy minds of my teachers

Diving into a pure spiritual beauty who makes my heart feel as open as the vastness of sea

Diving into a life that is some one elses's, which I have borrowed for six weeks, making a home in this transitional learning place

Diving into my fears, my acceptance, my questioning, and the burning in my soul for the ultimate liberation which I am far from

Diving into expansion as I implode into my own silence hidden under my buzzing exterior

Diving into music like it is my womb of expression, losing myself in sound, losing my power over words temporarily

Diving into a pool of yogi's and our collective sweat as we seek, and seek, and seek some more!

Into The Clouds: The beginning!

Hello Love's! This is part 3 in my journey across the world. Part one was my transformation through the loss of love into my historical spirituality, and the reformation of myself as I journeyed through Israel, Egypt, & Jordan. This was the bottom of the earth. Part 2 was my elevation into my higher self through diving into the birth place of yoga and my chosen spiritual path as I traversed India. This was the top of the earth.

I literally went from the bottom of the earth to the top of the earth, from the dead sea to the himalayas. These previous journal entries shall be compiled into book 1 titled, "From the Bottom of the Earth, To the Top of the Earth!"

Thus in this moment begins Book 2, "Into the Clouds!" These following journal entries shall track my current travels across India, Nepal, & Thailand for at least the next 6 months.

I should warn you that I am brutally, beautifully honest! It is one of my most respected and upheld values. I can honestly say I have told only one lie in my life, as far back as I can remember. (I may have exagerated the truth a bit here & there for the sake of a good story, but added juicy adjectives dont really add up to lies, mostly just friendly embellishments, which I am working on removing from my purely honest life as we speak!) So, you can expect it all right here on the internerd for your reading pleasure. I try to be a good, pure, spiritual person as often as I can. I admit that I have my guilty pleasure's which I work hard at keeping as treats and not habbits. I am a woman on the verge of 30 and I admit fascination with men, dating, and love! I have a free spirit and an open heart. I make my papa's belly swirl like a rollercoaster sometimes with the wild adventure's and situations I joyfully get myself into. I am not afraid to try new, wild, extreme, & sometimes dangerous things in the name of being alive and living as though this moment is the only, most important moment I shall be or have ever been given! I believe in god and I believe that god love's that I am happy to live this life and enjoy all the treats and adventures god leads me to try! I believe this god shall protect my life for as long as this god give's it to me. I believe that this god shall bring me only harm and trajedy that I can handle as lessons to sharpen me, bring me closer to deeper levels of enlightenment, and prepare me for some greater purpose that is eventually in store for me.

Why is this lady rambling about all this?, you may be asking yourself. Well, I want you to know that you shall get the whole story here. I want you to have it all. I want you to know that we are all connected, and my adventure is your adventure. We are all just living, learning,  & loving! Living, learning, & loving is beautiful and also ugly sometimes. It is gory full of gross and fascinating details. It is amazing and exciting. It is everything as this story shall be.

I hope you can find your connection to me as you we all embark upon our shared journey towards our highest selves. I hope you don't judge me when I am naughty, or make mistakes. I hope you enjoy watching as I grow, and I hope it helps you find our shared humanity, and in the end I hope it helps you grow.

For you are me, and I am you, and we are all we, & I love us!

All my truth,

Dana

This is Life, Love, Learning: The End/Beginning!

Sonu gave me detailed instructions on how to be safe as though I were a child, as he sent off on my journey alone. As the wild world of india flew past me I felt a sense of freedom and joy at being alone in the world once again. I felt empowered, like I was strong enough to face anything. I arrived in Rishikesh, and headed straight for the Darm Yatri Niwas, my trusty old guest house from our previous trip here. I was given the same room as before and I settled in to read my book and enjoy my own company.

The first couple of days were nice, I found myself silent, happy, and shanti, peaceful. I read, I thought, I did lots of yoga with my guru, and existed in the moment purely. My guru and I settled into a flow of information share between disciple and teacher. He taught me twice a day and had me teach classes once a day. He promised to bring me with him twice a week to teach to the local school children.

One day I crossed path's with a beautiful Israeli man whom I recognized from my previous visit to Rishikesh. We smiled at one another, and our eyes recognized each others souls. Strange as that may sound it was true. I knew in that instantaneous moment that we had shared time in another life time, or at least we would share some in this life time!

That afternoon after wandering the town, and eating a simple lunch of rice and sag paneer, spinach with cheese, I ran into this man and his friend. He smiled and asked me where I was coming from. I told him that I had been eating lunch. He told me that I should invite him next time, and I promised I would. I told him that we should hang out some time, and he promised we would. I skipped back to my room barely touching the ground with my feet, andticipating the idea of knowing the beautiful person.

The next morning on my way down the stairs from yoga I heard the sound of the didgerie doo, and was enchanted. I have always felt intrigued with the unique and trance like sounds of this strange aboriginal instrument. It has always drawn me in. I followed the sound until I found my israeli friend playing it and drawing me in. When he looked up and saw me there, his eyes lit up with his huge smile. We shuffled from foot to foot, nervous, excited, and for a moment unable to speak as we stood eye to eye. I told him the sound had drawn me in, and I had always loved this
instrument. He told me he was just learning and invited me to try it. I sat down and played a beautiful sound on my first try. He was amazed that I was able to play the didge, as he had allowed at least 50 people to try and I was the first who was able to make a sound at all. He invited me to join his friends. I sat for a couple of hours hanging out and playing the didgerie doo. Idan, my new friend invited me to join him for dinner later that night and I gladly agreed!

In my room that afternoon I did some yoga. I was working on some difficult poses that my guru did not include in our lessons. One of those poses was the scorpion pose, a very vigorous but beautiful shape for the body to achieve. I worked hard at perfecting this pose as I was fascinated with it.

That evening we had dinner with his friends and then we skipped off to drink king fisher beers and be alone. We sat in my room and talked for hours. We told our life stories, we shared our secrets, we confessed our dreams. We layed on our backs and stretched our toes towards the sky. We layed on or sides and inspected each others eyes. We kissed softly, moving so slow, afraid that speed would spoil the authenticity of our connection. Eventually we looked over and noticed a scorpion right in the spot that I had been attempting to perfect scorpion pose that afternoon. Idan was fascinated with animals, so he helped me rid my room of my dangerous friend, with out harming the creature. I decided that after sharing my room with a mouse for days, and now the appearance of a scorpion, I needed to shift rooms as soon as possible, and set my mind to doing so the next day after yoga class. We said our goodnight with promises of many more things to share in the days to come.

After yoga the next morning my guru asked me if I had been using the ayurvedic face mask to heal my sensitive skin. I admitted that I had not yet done so. He demanded that I let him do this for me right that moment. One does not go against their guru's will, unless of course their will is innappropriate, which this was certainly not. He only wanted to help me, so I agreed. I sat on the floor with my head in my guru's lap as he used the herbs to exfoliate my skin, and then the mixture of curd, yogurt, and herbs as a mask for my skin. He insisted that I wear this mask for the next two hours, and I promised I would.

Not five minutes passed before the front desk called to inform me that my new room was ready, and I needed to vacate my current room asap so that some one else could move in. With a green, chunky covered face, I grabbed all of my things and headed upstairs to my new room. On my way there, of course I ran into Idan. I was so nervous to see him again. I wasn't sure how he was going to be today, after such an intimate evening. You see, he is so beautiful inside out. He is the guy every girl wants. Now, I don't have much problems connecting to the men that I am intrigued with either. I work hard at having a joyfull, kind, open, and beautiful heart which shines out of me, I am quite comfortable in my soul and my skin and I guess this energy draws the men I want to me. But still, I was nervous about Idan, I felt I had met my match in beauty and knew that he could have any girl he wanted. Why should I be the one he chooses. But all covered in a chunky green face he recognized me, and ran up, picked me up, spun me around, and told me I was so beautiful! This soothed my nerves and assured me that our connection was real for both of us, and we were meant to share our hearts.

Thus begun a beautiful 3 week journey into love and friendship and soul sharing. Should I tell you all the details? I wonder? What happens between lovers is private, and powerful. It is a mystery of life the magic of love. It heals, it teaches, it soothes, in energizes, it transforms and unites. He was a can opener for my heart that had been battered and bruised and sealed shut by unrequitted love.

Previously, I had chosen the man I wanted to marry and had opened myself completely to him. I gave him my heart and my soul, and I loved him as deeply as I loved myself. And he had kept me by his side for nearly four years without ever inviting me into the secret places of his soul. I had given up the last of my childhood for this man because he asked me to and told me that he would truly be mine if I would do that. But that didn't work, I tried all that I could to show him that I was special, and wonderful, and the one for him. He looked at me and saw that I was the most wonderful thing that had ever happened to him, and so he kept me by his side. But he never let me in. He wouldn't let me teach him, he wouldn't relinquish any control, he wouldn't take a leap of faith and chance for us. And he wouldn't let me go. Near the end, I prayed for him to just set me free, for I loved him so much that I didn't think I had the strength to let him go. But he just wouldn't. He wouldn't love me with all his soul, and he wouldn't let me go. Oh, what a pain that was. I lost myself in the depression I went through after finding some small bit of strength to propel me away from him. My soul ripped when I walked away, but I walked away. I walked and walked and walked all the way to the middle east. The middle east healed me a bit. My family healed me a bit. Little moments of me coming back into me healed me a bit. But my heart was still sealed closed with super glue!!!!

Idan Cohen was the tincture to peel apart a bit of that super glue and get in. Oh what a joy to have some one in my heart again! We ordered dessert after every meal. Our dessert was named, "Hello to the Queen!" and we ate it each time like it was our last moments on earth, smiling, giggling with our sugar and soul high. We were so in love with one another and the moment that we lived life like it is supposed to be lived! He gave me his heart, his body, his soul, his everything. He made no promises and he held nothing back! For that time it was all perfect between us. I gave it all to him as well and he took it and appreciated it, and honored it! He would look over at a stranger sitting next to us at a restaurant and say, "Look at this woman, isn't she just the most beautiful woman you have ever seen? Don't we look great together! I wish you could know her heart because it blows away her physical beauty which is really hard to believe is
possible, BUT IT IS, I know!" Oh what pink cheeks I had for three weeks straight!

We would run in the himalayas together. We bathed at the ganges river together. We sat on my balcony at night and howled at the moon with our didgerie doo's. (He took right away on our 3rd day together to buy me a didgerie doo, at a shop called Mukesh's Shop. I made my didge myself, and he inscribed on the bottom, "love from Idan") We rode bike's together. We mad lots of love with our bodies and our minds and our hearts. Love in every form of the word! And, it was all perfect!

In the meantime I also shared a very different kind of love with my guru. Every day our intensive learning sessions went on and on. Twice a week we went to teach yoga to the local school children. Mostly I taught and my guru gleamed with pride at my skill under his direction. I helped him by creating bright flyers and posting them all around town. He had at his home for dinner with his lovely family many times. We would whirl around town on his motorbike, ordering the best mango lassi's in town, and going to visit his scholar friends. Here we would discuss deep philosophical mysteries and ideas. My guru appreciated my wit and intellect and loved to show me off to his well to do intellectual friends, watching as I matched them and debated with my education and ideas about spirituality, political ideas, and general philosophy.

These 3 weeks were full of love, spirituality, education, philosophy, and hard personal transformational work!

And finally, as I hopped into a rickshaw to ride to the bus which would take me back to Delhi where I would catch my flight home, I cried because it was all so perfect and wonderful, and now it was over. I never wanted it to end, and yet I realized my soul was full, and could take not a bit more. It was time to return home and utilize this knowledge and share it all until I was empty and eager for more learning. And then I would return to fill again!

Back in Delhi, Sonu picked me up from the bus station. I had hours to burn before my flight and so, I took out every last penny I owned from my bank account and went shopping. Sonu and I wandered the market in Delhi until I was broke, and then we headed for the airport.

India had changed me forever! Words would do injustice to the beautiful transformation it gave me. In my heart I wish every person has the chance to journey into the world and into themselves as deeply as I was able to in India.

And so I end this story of my first travels in India with a simple statement that means so much:

Namaste!
The light in me bows to the light in you!